She's With Him, But Loves Me?

Dear Dee:
The girl I like admitted she liked me but at that time, she had a boyfriend. She broke up with her boyfriend, but didn't want to jump into another relationship.

Well, we both worked on our school's fall musical together and our relationship got closer and closer. Then she met this other guy, who is sort of a friend of mine. She was immeadiatly attracted to him. After a confusing couple months she chose him over me -- even though she still loves me.

The other day I cut myself. Right after that, I realized how stupid I was. I took the knife I used and gave it to a friend of mine. I told him to give it back when I was sane. I trust him to know when that is. My question is, what now? I just can't let go no matter how hard I try. I need an answer soon. Here's hoping you've got some advice.

Seriously? This girl chose another guy but told you she still 'loves you'?

I am sorry. She's playing you and simply telling you what you want to hear. She's still stringing you along while she goes off and does whatever she wants with whomever she wants. She's keeping you right where she wants you so she can fall back on you if something goes wrong. She knows you'll be there when she calls. Honey, this is very uncool and you deserve much better. What you need to do now is show her she can't play these types of games with you and you're NOT her 'beck and call boy.'

I know it's hard for you to get over what this girl has done since she's been dangling a a possible relationship in front of you for awhile, but it really is best for you to realize that a girl who does this to you -- who can't shoot straight with you isn't worth your time.

And while this realization is painful, cutting yourself is NOT the answer. She is one girl in a world full of young ladies who won't lead you on and won't lie to you. I am really glad you came to the conclusion cutting wasn't a good idea, but the fact you tried it still worries me. I encourage you to talk to an adult you trust about it or contact someone on the other end of one of the hotlines listed here.