Messing Around & We Got Caught ... OOPS!

Dear Dee:
There's this girl I've been dating for about 6 months. Her parents found out we've been messing around and now they hate me. I'm never allowed at her house ever again and they want us to break up. What do you think I should do?

Well, not quite sure I want to know what your definition of ‘messing around' is ... I am sure I can guess. And I am glad you got caught! Obviously, if the two of you are young enough to ‘get caught,' then you're probably too young to be doing what you were doing!

But with that said, everyone makes mistakes. You've got to understand that your girlfriend's parents are only trying to protect her. They don't want her to make any mistakes or get into any trouble that could affect the rest of her life. You've got to respect that and understand that if you have any chance of getting back in their good graces.

What you're going to have to do will take a lot of courage and soul searching. But if this girl means anything to do, you'll do it.

You're going to have to talk to her parents. Ask to speak with them at their house, with you and your girlfriend present. Tell them you would like another chance, and are committed to keeping their rules AND dating their daughter under their supervision until you've regained their trust.

Let them know you respect their decisions and appreciate the fact they're trying to protect her. And you will do your best to honor that.

You'll have to say this and mean it. Parents can spot a BSer 100 miles away -- especially when they're already distrustful of the person. So, do some soul searching and figure out if your relationship is worth saving for the right reasons ... not because you got caught and have to do it. But because you understand what you were caught doing was inappropriate and against her parent's rules and you want to make it right.

Now, the easy way out would just be to break up. But that is pretty cowardly -- especially if you care for this girl. So think about it.