Drunken Friends Want Me To Join Them

Dear Dee:
I'm 17 and most of my friends are 18 or 19. They are at that age of getting into drinking and stuff like that. They think it would be cool for me to get drunk with them, too.

It sounded fun, and I trust my friends. Not only that, but my sister got drunk on homecoming when she was 17. So I thought i would do the same. Homecoming came around and I still wasn't comfortable about drinking. I just told them "well hey maybe New Years, we'll party at your house."

So I'm invited to the small party (only 9 of our closest friends) to celebrate the new year with alcohol. Now New Year's is right around the corner and I thought I would be ready, but I'm still not.

They'll call me and say "Hey I can't wait for new years!" and I'll respond "Yea can't wait!" I'm really scared to be drunk, and not ready. But I don't want to let down my friends by false advertising my excitement about my first time being drunk. How do I approach my friends come New Year's?

Let's state the obvious, K? Every single one of you are under-age and aren't old enough to drink alcohol.

And the second obvious? You're the only one in this entire group (including your sister) who seems to have any common sense at all. So don't waiver! You are 100 percent not ready for what they are pushing you into and you know what? Getting drunk is just plain, flat, absolutely stupid.

Honey, being drunk is not one of those 'firsts' that's worth putting in the scrap book and talking about years from now. Getting drunk is one of those things you want to forget because people act, say and do the dumbest things ever when alcohol is involved -- especially when they're not responsible enough to know when enough is enough.

Do you know how many girls lose their virginity when they're drunk ... how many are raped when they're drunk and how many change their lives forever just because they have no control over their actions when they're under the influence? Dare we even mention how many people lose their lives from drinking.

So you already knew all of that, right? Then don't be stupid. Don't give in. Your friends want you to do this so there isn't descention in the ranks. The more people who are doing something completely wrong and stupid makes it seem 'smarter' somehow. By getting you to give in, YOU are validating THEIR actions for THEM.

So do you want to be that person? The one who does things because others want her to. The one who doesn't stand up for herself but goes with the crowd -- even when it is unhealthy, unwise and yes, against the law?

You have the courage to shut your friends up. You make the stand and prove who you are. This is a defining moment for you. And what you choose to do right now will define and shape you in how you respond to pressure later.

So make the right choice here. It might cost you some friends and a little heartache now, but what you gain is so much more -- self respect, power of conviction and heart.