Is Boyfriend a Stalker?

Dear Dee:
I just broke up with my boyfriend and now he is mad. He's turning into a major stalker.

I wasn't mean about the breakup, I was very nice about it. He's just jumped off the deep end I guess. What should I do?

First and foremost: If you feel threatened by your ex boyfriend in any way or you aren't comfortable with how he is behaving now, you must tell an adult you trust and ask them to help you resolve this problem.

I say this because I am not sure if you're using the term 'stalker' loosely to just emphasize that he's bugging you now, or you are seriously worried he's become a stalker in the true sense of the word.

If it's the later, then this can be a dangerous situation and one you should NOT take lightly. So get some help from an adult right away. Don't try to handle it on your own.

Now if you're simply annoyed that your ex boyfriend happens to be innocently at the same places you are, and still has the nerve to talk to you every now and then, then I would say just roll with it. Be polite, be nice and just let it play out. You said yourself you were kind when you broke up with him. So in his mind, this still leaves room for civility and maybe even a friendship. He may just be exploring that.

Now if you don't want to have any contact with him or talk to him, then you're probably going to have to let him know. You don't have to be mean, but just be honest and tell him you're not really into hanging out with him anymore.

It's harsh, but if that's the way you want it, then you have to tell him.