Sick, In Love & Don't Know What To Do

Dear Dee:
I'm in grade 11, in an all academic and pre-AP program, getting great grades, with more friends than I can count, parents who (for the most part) love and support me, and I'm pretty and well-liked.

But some reason I'm not happy. I can't seem to find anything that really makes me enjoy life. I mean, I can have fun and laugh a bit when I'm with my friends, but the second they're not around I get really upset. I've been crying every day when I get home from school, and lashing out at my friends and parents.

I don't have a lot of energy, and I've been getting sick a lot. I'm really confused about what's wrong and what to do. I know one of the reasons why I'm so upset, but it's not the whole cause, because I'm mostly fine about it.

I'm in love (and I really do mean in love, not just crushing) with a guy. I know it sounds melodramatic, but I know he's the one for me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We've known each other since we were kids and we used to be great friends, but lately we've been drifting apart.

He lives really far away, so I only get to see him once a year (I won't get to see him this year though, because I'm doing an exchange to France,) and he never talks to me online. I'll try to start conversations and all I get are one-word answers.

I'm worried he might not want to talk to me either because I'm younger than him (he's a college freshman, and two years older than me) or because he's so self-conscious. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I'm pretty and he's kind of plain, plus I know he's insecure about his appearance. Plus his high school average was a C, and every time we visit my dad brags about my grades. Is there anything I can do to get him back as a friend?

I'm not even going to bother going for girlfriend because I know that won't work right now, but I really want to stay his friend.

Love can definitely make you feel a little off emotionally, physically and in every other way possible -- but I wouldn't say that is 100 percent why you're feeling the way you are. I encourage you to talk to an adult you trust. If you're not comfortable with that, maybe try to talk to your school nurse or maybe contact someone on one of our hotlines. Don't mess around with your emotional health. Go ahead and talk to someone.

Now about the guy ... Seriously, I only know a handful of guys who are avid communicators when you're not in a face-to-face situation. Most don't tend to be great on the phone, or at returning emails or IMs. It sucks to generalize all guys like this, but I seriously believe it's true!

If you like him and you think he's pulling away, maybe it's time to shake things up a bit and let him know you actually like him. Sometimes when a relationship seems to 'stall,'it needs a little shaking up -- and nothing can shake it up like a revelation of love.

OK OK. Don't actually tell him you think you're in love with him. But go ahead and let him know that he's on your mind and you think you'd like to take your friendship to the next level. Hey, it's not perfect -- but sometimes you've just got to put yourself out there.

Don't forget you're going to have to face a huge hurdle because of the long-distance issue. So think long and hard before putting it out there. The distance and fact you can only see each other once a year and sometimes not at all, kind of already dooms your relationship. Be smart. After thinking about it, you might just have to resign yourself to realizing this particular relationship can't ever really go anywhere.

But hey, it's your call. You have to decide if it's worth a try ...

Good luck to you and please take my advice on your health problems. I really think you should see someone.