She Doesn't Want to Grow Up

Dear Dee:
First and foremost, I applaud what you do for all of us crazy, lost people. I appreciate everything you've done to help them through their problems.

Well, this is a minor problem compared to most people out there in the world, but occasionally it does tend to eat away at me from the inside. My problem? I'm literally afraid of growing up.

Yeah, I know everyone has to go through it and it's a natural part of life, but there's something in me that doesn't accept the 'image' of growing and going through the teenage years. Anything I associate with teen years, I shun.

Every time I get called a 'teenager' in a stereotypical way, I get upset, offended, and I sometimes completely deny being anything like a 'typical teen.' If this info helps any -- I'm 15 now.

It's most definitely not a problem for you to take offense at being called a 'typical' teen. Stereotypes are discouraged in all other groups of people, so why should adults stereotype all teens? Seems fair that this particular group should be considered as individual and unique as the people who are a part of it. Adults should be more sensitive to that. Thanks for bringing it to the forefront.

A 'teen' is simply a person ages 13-19. And beyond that, each person in the group is individual and has varying interests. YES, there are popular, mainstream items loved by large numbers of the teen population, but there are many who have interests as far from the main as possible.

So embrace the fact that you're one of them. Being a teen is just an age. What you make of it and are interested in is entirely up to you. You control how fast you grow up -- and the fact you don't want to go from childhood to adulthood in one swoop is fantastic. Continue to define who you are by developing strong friendships, embracing your interests, growing and maturing. Continue to take your time and don't worry about what others say because you've chosen to take things slowly.

And most importantly, don't be scared. Yes, growing up is a natural part of life and it can be way freaky sometimes. But don't let your fear stall this process. Just go with the flow and mature at your own pace.

I feel like embracing the changes your going through will be your biggest challenge. And this could be due to the fact you've had a more sheltered life. But do the best you can to get out, hang out and experience what you can (within reason). Talk to your parents or an adult you trust about what you're feeling and don't hesitate to write again with some updates.

Remember, growing up isn't a bad thing -- but growing up too fast is. I am thrilled you're taking your time.