Pressured To Have Sex

Dear Dee:
I am a 17-year-old girl struggling with peer pressure. There is a guy, also 17, who sits next to me in one of my classes. He is always flirting with me, and recently asked me if I wanted to have sex with him.

I told him no, because I am still a virgin and I am not ready for that yet. A few days ago he told me that he is still a virgin, and if we could lose it to each other it would be very special. But the thing is that we aren't even going out!

This guy can't be for real. Seriously? Stick by your no. His ‘offer' is absurd at best and if we really wanted to get down to it, it's stupid, disgusting and ridiculous (not to mention the sure sign that someone really shouldn't be having sex ... because he/she doesn't know its true meaning.) How could it be 'special' when you're not ready, not in love, and not even dating?

Sex isn't something you do just to say you've done it. It should be experienced in a loving relationship, where two people are committed to each other. No one should just have sex so they can say they're not a virgin anymore.

In fact, you should be applauded because you still are! Save yourself for the real thing -- not for a stupid guy who just wants to get some and isn't willing to commit or even try to disguise his motivations. The fact he just outright asked you to sleep with him and didn't even try to romance you or anything just speaks volumes of his arrogance and stupidity.

OK. So I made my point. You get it, right? Tell him to kiss off. And as for you, be proud of yourself and don't settle. You'll be really, really happy about your decision in the future. Promise.