Touchy About Touching

Dear Dee:
I just started going out with this really hot guy at my church. The thing is, he is starting to get a little touchy -- not emotionally touchy but the feely touchy -- and I am extremely uncomfortable.

I tell him to stop and he will for awhile, but then he starts up again. I don't want to break up with him because he is so much bigger than me and he is about five times faster than me. What should I do?

Forgive me, but it sounds like you're almost scared of this guy. If you are, you've got to get help from an adult you trust and get out of this relationship. NO ONE has the right to touch you in any way you don't approve of and no one has the right to force you to do things you aren't comfortable with.

Although I edited it out for space, your letter said you feel ‘privileged' to talk to him and even more so to date him. While it's awesome you find him so very special, it is not so cool that you feel he might have the right to take advantage of you because he's up on this pedestal. Listen, if you say no, that means no. If this jerk doesn't want to listen to that and respect it, then he's not worthy of you and is NOT dating you for the right reasons.

Please respect yourself enough to know this. And please, get help from an adult. If you feel threatened, don't take this on yourself and don't you dare feel like you're powerless to stop this unwanted groping and touching. You're not. All you have to do is speak up and get help. He's already proven he doesn't respect your wishes. So now it's time to get someone else involved.

If you need further direction or have more concerns, please feel free to contact one of our hotlines. There is definitely someone there who can give you some strong advice and more than likely reinforce what I've said.

And while you're at it, dump this guy and knock him off his self-made pedestal. He needs a lesson in how to treat a woman and he also needs to know that we mean what we say.