The Most Annoying 'Friend' EVER

Dear Dee:
There is this girl in one of my classes who sits right next to me. She is really annoying. She calls me her friend and tells me her really boring stories. But I don't want to listen.

You know how sometimes you just want to ignore everything because you just don't really care? Well that's how it is with her but it is every day! I feel really bad for her but she is just rude, spits on people when she talks, and has dandruff she flings on people.

Oh, and she walks around all the time with half her belly hanging out. She has been doing this since seventh grade and I'm now in ninth. I tried just ignoring her one day but she got all mad and said that I wasn't being a "good friend". What should I do?

So I think there is one of two things going on here. This girl is either dying for some attention or really doesn’t know how to act appropriately around people. Oh wait.

It could also be a little of both (so that’s three things). People like that speak loudly, do gross things and annoy people just to get the attention -- even though it’s negative. I know this for a fact as I had similar experiences with a girl in high school.

She’d constantly open her mouth and talk while she was chewing JUST to get everyone to yell at her. She also never bathed, rarely shaved her legs (we had to wear dresses in private school) and constantly annoyed everyone. I came to find out a little while later that she was abused, her mother didn’t want her and she lived with her grandmother who really loved her, but had no idea how to help her.

Later that year, a family took her in and suddenly, she started dressing better, fixing herself up and acting much more appropriate. She knew she was cared about. She knew someone took interest in her. And that made her want to get positive attention versus the negative.

I am not saying this is or would be the case with this girl in your class, but the point is some people act out in extremely annoying ways just to get some type of reaction.

They long for the attention because they can’t get it any other way. You don’t have to be her best friend. You don’t even have to talk to her. But know that your kindness to her might be the only time she ever experiences it.

And when she doesn’t get that, she is happy with incurring your annoyance or anger … and even disgust. Because at least it’s attention. Think about it. Maybe there’s a way you can help.

At the very least, do try to be kind and avoid making fun of her when others do. You just never know what she’s dealing with in other areas of her life that cause her to act out in this way.