Dear Dee:
I'm beginning to think that my parents won't accept the real me if I show them.
Lately I've become what my mom says is 'obsessed' with music and threatens to take it away from me.
So because of that, I feel like I have to be a different person around them. It really hurts me they don't see how important music is in my life. For me it's a way to express myself and it's something I want to persue. I don't know how to get them to accept it so I gave up trying. What should I do?
No matter what, don't give up on your dream. If you're passionate about music, then live it. Experience it and play it. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't -- even your parents.
I have no doubt your parents are just discouraging you because they know how difficult the music business is. I seriously doubt they want to squash your interest entirely. And if they do, shame, shame on them. The best way to convince them that music is your passion and that you're seriously serious about it is to keep it up and practice to be the best you can be.
Don't pretend to be different around them! Don't belittle your commitment to music or downplay how you feel about it when you're around them. By doing that, you're showing them they were right and that your interest in music was/is nothing more than a fleeting fancy. One of the first rules in actually showing your parents you know what you want is to show you're responsible enough to follow it through and commit to it. By lying to them you're doing exactly the opposite.
Sometimes our parents have a difficult time when we pick interests/pursuits that aren't conventional. I mean really, how many movies are made about dancers, musicians, painters, elite athletes, who followed their dreams against their parents' will and through their love for the art, their commitment to hard work, they make it big time. And hey, let's not forget that in the end the parents are SO SO SO SO proud and apologize profusely for ever doubting or discouraging them. It happens.
While it does hurt to have your parents diss your dream, just keep believing that one day they will come around because more than likely, they will. And if they don't, remember you pursue YOUR dreams so YOU can be happy and meet YOUR goals. And if you do that, who cares what anyone else thinks or says.
1 comment:
You know, I felt a lot better myself after reading your post to know I was not the only one. I have this perception that other parents believe in their kids and fuel their passions so they can succeed and be happy, but not all parents are like that. I am 24 years old now and I am still pursuing music, despite my mother's disbelief in me, and I will NEVER quit! I went through such a tough time, in fear that I was getting too old, and being held back against my will, but now I realize that the only true deadline is the grave.
Nobody wants to live a lie. It hurts your spirit when you have to pretend you're something you're not just to make someone else happy. It can literally kill you inside, because eventually most people end up growing into the roles that they play, which causes them to forget who they really are. Don't ever let that part of yourself go. At the end of the day, remember who you are, because this dream is the very best part of you. If they can't see that, then they are missing out on the best that you have to offer, which means they are only making uneducated judgements about what they don't know, and if you don't know someone, how can you really orchestrate a true judgement? You can't.
Let me tell you something, from someone who's been through a whole lot for their age, This dream is what will get you through the roughest times of your life. It is the shining star that provides a light when everything else around you is dark. It will keep you going when you're ready to throw the towel in.
They might try to fade out the shining star, but where would we all be without the sun? For without the sound of music, this world would lack color. My advice: Hold on with all you've got!
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