Taking 'Friendship' A Little Too Far

Dear Dee:
First of all, I really appreciate this site.

Basically Dee, I am 17 years old and really want to lose my virginity to someone who I have liked for about 3 years now. He also wants to have sex.

We are really good friends and minor things always happen when I see him. He seems to be taking things really slow, which I appreciate. What advice would you give on this problem?

I think the real problem here is the fact you are trying to figure out a way to rush this guy into doing something he may not be ready to do. AND the fact it really sounds like you want to have sex just for the sake of having it.

I am also concerned you are willing to give up your virginity to someone you say is just a 'really good friend.' Sex isn't something to be experienced between friends. In fact, if it were, what in the hell would be so special about it? We all have tons of friends -- but those we actually love in a romantic way are way more rare.

So I ask you first to consider what you're saying here and really evaluate what you want. Do you want to just lose your virginity because you want to lose it? Or are you looking to have a meaningful relationship with someone you love, care about and want to experience true intimacy with?

I've answered the question 'should I have sex' so many times, that finally I wrote a response I refer to whenever a reader is struggling with what to do. I encourage you to read it and really think about what you're doing. Find it here: Dear Dee Answers Most Asked Question: Should I Have Sex?

Remember you are definitely worth waiting for. Don't throw away something as special as your first time on a friend -- and take into account what sex is supposed to mean and how special it is supposed to be. I encourage you to take things slow and don't rush into anything. Don't do anything you will regret later -- and I seriously feel if you go through with this 'friendly' encounter, you will most definitely regret it.