I Don't Get My Parents

Dear Dee:

I absolutely do not get my parents. For starters they don't seem to get that even though I am the older sister and I am supposed to set an example I can't always be perfect. What am I supposed to do when my sister walks over to me and punches me?

And to top all of that off, my mom holds me at a higher expectation than she holds her employees. She says she ‘strongly dislikes' my absolute best friend who does not need this from her. Today, I had to convince her not to run away. What can I do?

You're right. Parents do often expect way more out of the oldest than they do the other kids in the house. It's just how it is (as I am the oldest, too, I understand).

They will never let you act out on, beat up on or torture your little sister - even though she's doing it to you - it's the sad truth. So it's probably time to just get over that and focus on the fact that your parents don't seem to like your best friend.

While you see yourself as being a great influence and friend to your best friend, your parents see her troubled side ... and think about how that could affect you. They just don't want her influencing you to get into some of the things she's into or get dragged into some of the problems that are weighing on her mind. It's really your parents trying to protect you from some pretty messed up situations that are out there.

What you should do, is talk to your mom about your friend. Let your mom know she can trust you to do the right thing and to be a positive influence on your friend. Let her know how much you care for your friend and how you really want to be there for her because you feel like you're all she has.

I really believe if you do this in a respectful way your mom will understand. Arguing with attitude or snickering at your mom's comments about your friend won't get you anywhere.

What you have to do is let your mom see you're responsible enough to handle this friendship and that you're a huge help to your friend.

Find comfort in knowing pretty much no one ‘gets' parents. They pretty much are a mystery to all of us until we become parents and the viscous cycle starts all over again ...