Third Time's the ...

Dear Dee:
My ex boyfriend and I are still friends after going out twice before. My friends tell me if our relationships didn't work out the first two times, then why try again for a third time?

I think I still love him, but I'm not sure. I love being around him and he is nice to talk to, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me anymore. I don't want to ruin our friendship by talking to him about it, because I treasure our friendship that we have. But I also don't want to have this feeling of the past when I spend time with him. What should I do?

I am of two minds on this. One part of me thinks you need to take a break from this guy and sort out what you're feeling and the other part of me says you should just see how things play out. Either way, it does sound like you make better friends -- at least for now -- than boyfriend/girlfriend.

So, let's just say you go with the 'let's stay friends and I'll give it time' approach. This could be great because it will allow you to sort out what you're feeling and it would help you two build a stronger friendship, which might lead to something else later. But the key here would be to seriously not rush into anything. Just concentrate on the friendship.

If you chose the 'space' angle, it could alienate the two of you as friends, but it would give you time to sort out your feelings. ...

You've already said you value your friendship. So in that vein, how about you just try to work out for sure, what you're feeling. Really think through what made your relationship fail in the past and see if you can get beyond that. There are tons of people out there who are attracted to each other, but know they make better friends than a couple. This may be the case with you two. And after you thoroughly evaluate what worked/didn't work in your relationship, maybe it will shed some light on what you're feeling.

Don't rush into anything. Because while your friends say there's no way the third time would work out, some might disagree and say that if you play this one right and take things slow, the 'third time is the charm.'