What Really Annoys Guys ...

Dear Dee:
Do guys get annoyed when you call them a lot?

I have this bad habit of calling my ex who I don't even really like. I think I just call him because when we were dating he would always tell me how beautiful I was. Now I have no one to tell me that.

I call him like four times a week and his phone is always off. Is it because of me? I think I am just looking for support because of my low self-esteem. I mean ... I like another guy at school, but I really miss my ex!

OK. So I've never heard of a guy getting annoyed when I call him a lot. But I have heard it does happen to others.

Of course I am kidding. Guys do actually get annoyed if we call them too much. In fact, they get beyond annoyed ... and add some confusion to that mix when we break up with them and STILL keep calling.

It is not your ex boyfriend's job to constantly validate you. It's not fair to him to use him in that way. And apparently, he knows that, which is why he turns his phone off.

You need to find worth and validation in yourself. Whether or not a guy tells you your beautiful doesn't change the fact you are only as beautiful as YOU think you are. Have confidence in yourself. This includes your looks, your attitude, and your future -- all of which make up who you are.

It's really easy to have low self esteem -- but it's just as easy to be confident -- if you work at it. You may have to fake it at first, but when you walk around with your head held high and a little determination in your step no one can tell you have butterflies in your stomach and are worried about whether you chose the right outfit. They just see you as believing in yourself. And that's what counts.

So let go of your old boyfriend. Move on and try not to let how you feel about yourself depend on how others feel about you. You'll never be happy living that way.