From Sweet to Satan

Dear Dee:
A good friend of mine has been acting strange. She used to always be happy, and never acted left out or jealous.

Now she has started having major mood swings, swearing at us when she's mad and acting left out. The really confusing part is she switches soon afterwards to happiness (or apparent happiness) and starts encouraging people.

How do I help her to be the happy, kind person she used to be?

Changes at home, at school, in social circles or even just within herself can easily trigger a personality shift and cause moodiness. Growing up is hard! And sometimes dealing with it causes us to act out emotionally in ways that aren't characteristically our own.

The best thing you can do for your friend is be supportive and honest with her. It is important that you tell her you've noticed this change, and you want to know what you can do to help. She may not respond positively, but if you approach it the right way, with kindness and true caring, she might open up and confide in you.

This could also just trigger a conversation that'll give you insight into what she is going through right now. Maybe she just needs a good friend to let her know she's cared about and her friendship is valuable. Maybe she just needs to know someone in the group actually wants her around.

What's important is that you stay a good friend and listen to her, talk to her and encourage her. In reality, she may not even be aware that she changes from happy to sad to happy to depressed on a whim. And your pointing it out could be all it takes to set her right.

Of course, it could be much deeper than all of this and out of your hands to even help her. But you can encourage her to talk to an adult she trusts or even contact someone at one of our hotlines.

Continue to be supportive. Continue to care about her and let her know you want to help. After all, that's what friendship is all about.