Sex Is an Issue In My Relationship

Dear Dee:
My boyfriend and I have been together since 8th grade. Now we are seniors. I love him more than life itself! To be honest, we have actually talked about marriage!

I know we are a little young, but my parents love him and his love me! However, no matter how much I love him, sex is a key issue here. I love him to death and I know he loves me! But when he started asking me about sex, I told him I had wanted to wait until marriage.

I still sorta believe this; however, since I know we are gonna get married, should I still wait? I would die for him. He is the sweetest guy you will ever meet. I know he would never cheat on me and would never intentionally pressure me into doing something I wouldn't want to do, but I still can't help the feeling that he is upset.

You've started down a path that is extremely admirable and in my mind worth seeing through. I don't doubt your commitment or your boyfriend's commitment. But, don't let his ‘feeling upset' about you wanting to wait to have sex until marriage move you in your convictions.

Do you know how few girls these days actually wait? Do you know how many don't wait and wish they had? I know you said you believe your future is pretty much set in stone, but I would hate for you to become one of the ones who wish they hadn't given in because something happened.

You're in love. You've been together for quite a long time and it's absolutely fantastic you both are committed to each other and your relationship. And since you've been together so long, I'd imagine you've grown to trust each other and understand what is important to each other. Since that's the case, he will understand your wanting to wait because it is important to you and to what you believe in.

I honestly believe you don't ‘still sorta believe this.' I believe you DO believe it. Your ‘sorta' comes into play when you think about not doing what your boyfriend wants. Don't let that be a factor. This is your body, your conscience, your life we're talking about. And if he loves you, he will wait -- even if he is a little disappointed.